Sunday, 20 April 2008

5 Star Dining

Date : April 20
Place : Radisson SAS
Occasion : Boss's party

Dont get me wrong, I enjoyed the dinner party, it was to celebrate something, and the gesture was lovely. Its the dining that got my brains fried.

The place is stinking with filthy rich people who are doing god knows what in a place like that. I mean, hey doncha have some billion dollar industries to take over or some ships to buy? what are u doing in a place like dat, and they say, HOLIDAYING...relaxing...lolz

The dining itself got to me, as we sat down, i noted with horrendous realization that my eating space was infested with spoons and forks and knives of different kinds and sizes. I mean, we use our hands at home, and if we used a fork n spoon, WE USE ONE SETTT.... these people had a whole silver set, just for me....bonkers you think, but nooo, its true.. And i wondered, what the hell am i gonna do, i cant eat my whole meal with just one spoon and fork, my boss would think me a villager (where again, they use hands). It seems awfully stylish to dirty as many utensils as you can. They probably hold bets in the kitchen and washrooms as to how many Mr. Snob De Fink the 4th would dirty today. And its not only the spoons. I MEAN ALL UTENSILS.

So then i walk to the salad bar, and i find out, its seafood night. (hurray :-l). But the salads are mindblowing.
And then i walk past something which i later realised was a mortuary for all the sea creatures...
A big glass bowl shaped as an oyester shell, which was filled with ice, on which lay the remains of many a sea creatures freshly cooked (or so the people said, but i have my doubts)

And as the meal progressed (slowly) we faced a choice between still a bottle of still water and a bottle of sparkling water.....


i mean, water is water innit, or have they manipulated this luxury too, my assumption was that still water is taken from ponds and sparkly water from a flowing river...but damn was a wrong, he brought 2 bottles, and surprise surprise...BOTH CONTAINED WATER...grrrrr..but the magic was when he opened fizzled, now this raised another question, why would anyone in his right mind fizz up water ?? dont we have tooo many fizzy drinks already??

and my boss says, I like sparkling water better than plain one....i was like...woahh...must be something....and when i tasted it, i felt like i was drinking a fizzed up cough tonic mixed with 7Up.. lolz..

Maincourse : A bigger morgue of fishes...this time, all raw, kept in big pans, in ice....strange i thought, for a hotel, these guys dont pay attention to detail, LIKE THE FOOD NEEDS TO BE COOKED, or is it IN to be a caveman, less clothes are in, raw food too???

Then i realised, you selected the pieces you wanted (which all looked the same) and gave it to the chef who cooked it right in front of you. WHY?? i dont know, " BCOZ FOOD IS OF YOUR CHOICE" i can almost hear u say that, but hey, in normal restaurants, you order food of your choice and it comes from the kitchen..COOKED..

here you choose the food, you pick it and take it to the cook and eat it too, talk about 5 star SERVICE.

Being used to fast service from pakistani and indian restaurants, you kinda loose your appetite waiting for the master chef's CREATION..

and when it comes, you think, maaan, this could use a bit more ingredients. But reality flashes its ugly face at me..That most of the multi millionairs who come here prolly suffer from a wide range of disease..from common diabetes to high profile their food has to be like tat..tasteless...but expensive...

all in all, the food and desert was great, but the funny protocols had me in fits (in my mind of course, else i;d stand to loose my job)

as i walked back home, I had 2 take a water taxi (there's a creek here u see)...and i felt the fishes in my belly were wishing they could come alive...Full moon and high tide certainly didnt help.

And when i was walking towards my room, i passed by a barbecue being put up in a pakistani restaurant, and the only thing stopping me from jumping the gun was that my tummy had been over populated...and i dint wanna hurt the feelings of the fishies....

To all those who know me as sharky, it certainly was a La dee Dah expirience, but i'd trade it for a dhaba ANYDAY