Monday, 27 April 2009

Heading Home - 1

I guess there are few feelings in the world which are more emotionally
spellbinding than that of going home. And that is directly proportional
to the time you?ve been out of home.If you are the sort who doesnt
understand proportion, think of it as the months long hungry shark from
JAWS going all guns blazing at the nearest bunch of surfers.

After 14 months, I was spellbound alright. The final week leading to my
April 10th Departure from Dubai was probably the longest week I?ve had
in a long time (and no the recession did not give me as many sleepless
nights) nor have I been looking forward
To anything, so expectantly for a long time.

I entered the Dubai airport with a lot of apprehension, as I was
carrying more than 35 kgs of weight (And NO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT MY
The suitcase was pretttty heavy. Nevertheless, I cleared all the
formalities of the travel, thank god. And climbed aboard the Air India
flight which was on time (which means it was 45 minutes late IST, or the
other way round lol)
And to my ?ABSOLUTE UNFATHOMABLE DELIGHT?, all the airhostess were older
than the Stonehenge. Which meant that if I wanted an airhostess to
attend to me, I?d have to ring the bell last week. Which is all very
well, coz I was busy with Nick Hornby?s High Fidelity. AND I had an
overtly enthusiastic goan couple sitting next to me. True, as the plane
was going to Goa and onwards to Bangalore. **SIGH**
In a nutshell, the couple next to me were the contemporary Goan couple.
HE was bald and had a look like a goan rockstar who played in fenny bars
and punched dead pigs for exercise. And SHE was a fire hydrant. As in,
she kept drinking water and my life was hell (as I had scored the aisle
street) Every few minutes, the couple would LOOK at me. Without a word.
And well,
When you?re in a small plane, when someone looks at you, your brain
feels the strain of the stare. I?d turn towards them and they?d give you
that smile, Which is supposed ?HEY I GOTTA GO WEE WEE.? And I?m like,
that?s the 15th time in the last 10 minutes. Okay I?m exaggerating, but
it was pretttty frustrating. Problem is, I cant really say?NO, M NOT
MOVING..She?d only make it worse for me by ruining the seats. And she?d
get down at goa and I?d be left with the stinking seat all the way onto
Bangalore. Not my idea of a joyous home-coming.

Nevertheless, the thought of seeing my family keeps me from throwing
those two off the plane. The air hostess on Indian Airlines are directly
recruited from the Old Age homes i guess. For service is slow, and the
food is all the healthy stuff which tastes like grass (Not that i have
actually ever tasted grass).