Tuesday, 17 June 2008

First days at Training

Okay....

So I am in land of the Goths..

Once ruled by seriously unusual guys who thought long hair in pigtails was cool, and who made really tough rulers..
One thing about the Germans that will grab you at first sight is...Their Discipline...

So I am about to be trained by them, and i reckon, i should be on time right??

So for a 8 am arrival at office, i wake up at 6-15 or so.

And on the way i get to know, that you can come to the office anytime between 7:15 and 8:30 am.

So much for my attempt at ON-THE-DOT-PUNCTUALITY.. I really thought i would be there at 8 sharp when the cuckoo clock at the main entrance went DING DONG...
Firstly, there was no such thing as 8 Sharp....secondly, they dint have a cuckoo clock either..

Double Dhoka !!!

Well, i walk into the office, just a bit hesistant before opening the door to the Admin section..
And inside, half the workstations are empty...

Phir Dhoka !!!....

And I walk in and its just 2 ladies whom i know among the lot.. Ladies whom i had spoken to before on phone from Dubai...Friendly ladies though...
One was named Raveena and the other was named Shabana.. (names changed to hide the identity of the nice ladies)
Shabana is like this newly married lady...looks like a rock-star with a piercing through her eyebrow..

Raveena is this sweety lady in her mid 30s.. With a smile on her face whenever she sees you..Awww..

After the usual Hi, hello....i reached a blank in the conversation....Ever had the feeling there is an uneasy silence between u and the people in front of you..and you are expecting to say something..
It doesnt help if the person in front of you is giving you a sugary smile...Oh man...!!! And your brain is saying...SAY SOMETHING...and all you can come up with is...."SO, HOW ARE U???"
And then u realise thats the 3rd time you asked her that.

CRAPPPP !!!!....and you wish that a train crashes through the wall and takes you away on its windshield..

And she smiles and replies for the 3rd time....I AM GOOD...HOW ARE YOU....?? And you reply the third time too....OH YES I AM GOOD.....

ON SECOND THOUGHT....MAKE IT A SUPER FAST TRAIN..!!!


And then, i am standing there, hoping that someone asks me to sit, and they look at me and smile....
I think now i realise what an Elephant feels like in the Zoo...under the gleeful faces of the visiting audience....
Nevertheless, thanks to god i get a workstation to myself, which actually belongs to a girl who is at school today...(She works and studies alternate days....Germans start early - WOW)

So well, I started work, had a bit of catching up on my mails...(45 Unread ones--- Man the business world is so jobless)
And Shabana walks up to me and says..>Want me to help you with ABCD...(tats a software which we use for customer references....named changed to protect the software's identity)
And i say...thanks Shabbu but I got a bit of work, i'll clear it and then i'll listen to you blab about this software (of course not exactly the way i said it...but close)....
And shabbu smiled and waved her blond hair and left....

First thought that came to my mind was....SHE LOOKS SOOO DAMN DIFF FROM HER PIC...(yeah she had sent her wedding pic to the whole company...) But then i figured...All girls look prettiest on their wedding days....thats why they're glowing in white...
And all guys.....Well .... Black has always been the colour of mourning....;)

And then as I am going through the usual work, A Man walks in....blond, 6 feet, and in formal shirt, trousers, and Puma sports shoes....

wait a minute....Whats with the shoes??? Well, i guess he has to "run" from one meeting to another....
Lets call him Metallica....coz he looks like James Hetfield From Metallica...And he was really a nice guy....I could tell by the fact that he was immediately casual and asked me to shoot all questions and he would help me learn everything I had to over my training...I was really tempted to ask about the Puma shoes....but then....I didnt want one of the shoes in my face...so left it..

The rest of the day passed nervously....because i was seeing all new faces....and something about these guys and ladies....they're too polite....every one walking by me in the hallway would smile and say...HEY !!... HI !!....HELLOO !!!....i mean...wow...

coming from a place like Dubai where you see an eccentric arab or an indian or pakistani or bangladeshi on the road and your lucky if you get away with silence...coz he's had a rough day,and unfortunately he will hold you responsible for it and u will have a finger shown to you
or some mother tongue curses thrown with smiles at you....

This place was Wayyyy toooo different....

Later something my didi told me made me wonder...There is a reason why these guys are successful.. In most of the spheres of success.... Its their attitudes towards the people around them...

I guess Success stays best with the person who doesnt behave like he's got it....

Kewl !!!

And then i met many others....Raghu The Special design guy, Tabrez and Chandar the construction design guys and a few ladies....It was really nice...

My laptop was then taken for a CT Scan...coz i wanted to connect to the resident network..
So Raveena takes me to the IT Department...

Surprisingly, i was kinda anxious to meet these guys...I dunno why...but i felt, man, an IT department without an Indian must be one hell of a sight...And guess what....the location of these guys was AMAZING...

They were given a state of the art place...clean and big....................... In the Basement !!!!!!

OMG it took me a lot to hide the smirk on my face....Okay so they are geeks (techno term for brains behind the whole virtual office), but they were kinda thrown into the abyss.... Next to the cafeteria...which for some strange reason, smelt like Masala Poppadums to me...

They took my laptop and said....Okkkk, weeee vill scan it for infection....I was like...Uh Oh !!...I hope they do not open my pictures directory....no no...no such thing to hide...but i m not entirely comfortable with showing the germans the pics of Robert sleeping in his volleyball shorts, and Raju cutting onions...(names as usual changed to protect the identity of my roommates)

So i handed my laptop to a guy...who looked like those German Secret Service guys you see in cheesy american movies....all he lacked was a tight black suit and a Black Audi....I almost expected him to say...."Pleaz show me yore Eye Dee Carz (I.D. Card) "
But he didnt know english...And the head of the department comes to join us....Dharam...(he looked so much like the Jat Superstar).... After the usual pleasantries, he told me....we will just check your laptop for virusess, we dont want our system infected...(duhh...i wasnt specially keen on having the entire organisation fall because of a silly trojan from the Mp3 Downloading site) So i said...yeahh...please do...

Thankfully i later found out that Dharam and Secret Service dude found my system clean...not to mention they have put in a chip which helps me to access official programs...(Hmmmm !!)

Nice guys though.... Finally an IT department in the world, which has No Indians....(Countrymen...we have to move up the bar guys...commmonnn)
But nevertheless...>ISOLATED<

LOLLL

And well...there were the usual people i met who i am sure are there in all offices...

There was TINA...the mentally day dreaming, all beauty-no duty kinda secretary/employee who smiles at you and also at the potted plant next to you with equal kindness

There was the impatient Pandey....who had important meetings and had to leave....

Not to mention....The usual run of the mill Skeptic Vamp (evil Lady...or so i thought)
Lets call her Sundari....And she looked at me as if i have just been released from the Jungle....

MAN WHERE THE HELL IS THAT TRAIN.....!!!

Lunch was Salads..... :((

YOU SMILED AGAIN DINT YOU....!!! Sadistic Creature....

And after lunch, Metallica introduced me To Mr. Bean....our new collegue...who, like Mr. Bean, smiled often, said little, and was very prim and proper...(a real opposite to my Adidas jacket and Westcoast gold shoes)

Metallica took us around the whole factory...t'was great...

But thats all another story....

The following day was also smooth, with me learning the ropes slowly, and using them....


Tomorrow will be 1 week since i tasted Meat....!!!!

Give me Strenght ya Allah...!!

2 comments:

letter shredder said...

way to go, sharky!

if the puma shoes are red, steal them for me ;p

Arjun M said...

hiya there herr sharky...

first day, ALWAYS go late,
and if at all they install the cickoo clock, impress your boss with your excellent shooting...


is beretta german by any chance? :P